I just got me a free week of vacation, only with lots of extra stress thrown on top of it.
The hard disk in my company-provided laptop died, and I have no other machine with office apps on it with which I can do the bulk of my work. I could answer e-mail from my Treo and take the occasional call when they came (or conference calls when they came up), but the vast majority of my work just simply had to be put on hold for a week.
Why a week? Oh, that's because the first drive they sent me lasted a total of just about four hours before it made the same horrible crunching death noises that hard disks just ain't supposed to make. I've been working with this one for nearly 10 hours, and I'm confident we can keep running for a while with that. The good news? The jump drive to which I back everything up is also acting up. I don't know if I'll be able to recover a good amount of my backup.
Some days, I just love technology. The past week just ain't been those types of days.
November 13, 2008
November 11, 2008
Changes
Lots of things have gone on, and gone wrong, since my last post. I've made two trips across the country to Colorado Springs, and only one heading back. Instead of being here to watch a bit of footie or hang with my brother, this time it's to try to discover myself, as it were. I don't recommend driving across Kansas, although it's amusing how one can find a "Scenic overlook" whilst driving along I-70. I'm not sure what scenery one is meant to overlook... There's a lot of empty out there.
Similarly, I don't recommend driving from Cheyenne to Chicago. There's a lot of empty along I-80, too... Fortunately, the 55mph national speed limit's repeal (and my general disregard for speed limits in any case) allows one to traverse the majority of the emptier parts at speeds in excess of 80mph (although the posted speed limits tend to be a bit lower than that). If one has a single CD player and an AM/FM radio, one winds up either listening to plenty of random radio stations or given plenty of time to think. Fortunately, the vast majority of the interstate highway system has good cellular phone coverage, so when one starts to get tired of listening to one's own thoughts, one can call up a friend... and cause them to become tired of listening to one's thoughts.
So, why the Willie Nelson impressions (minus the long hair, beard, and pot)? Simply put, after a long illness, my marriage died. I won't go into what that illness was, but will accept blame for both the genesis of the illness and the inability of the family to properly recover from it. I am here for a healing of sorts... To hope that while my family is irrevocably broken, we can find a way to make the best of a situation which nobody can be happy with.
So here I am... A newly-minted Coloradan. I have another trip to make back east to get a few things before settling in to my new apartment. It's strange to go back to the house which used to be home, to see a woman who used to be your wife, and know that you're there as a visitor or an interloper. It's the most intensely sad thing that I've experienced so far in my life, made more so by the fact that it's primarily of my own doing. Unfortunately, it's become clear that while I may do some things very well, being a husband is not among those things. Now that I'm 0 for 2 in that category, I'll have to work on being a better man out here in Colorado. Meanwhile I hope that I and others can heal, and maybe some day friendships can evolve from what is now bitterness and pain.
In the meantime, if any of my friends happen to be traveling through Colorado Springs, feel free to stop by and maybe pull up a chunk of futon. I'd love the company.
Similarly, I don't recommend driving from Cheyenne to Chicago. There's a lot of empty along I-80, too... Fortunately, the 55mph national speed limit's repeal (and my general disregard for speed limits in any case) allows one to traverse the majority of the emptier parts at speeds in excess of 80mph (although the posted speed limits tend to be a bit lower than that). If one has a single CD player and an AM/FM radio, one winds up either listening to plenty of random radio stations or given plenty of time to think. Fortunately, the vast majority of the interstate highway system has good cellular phone coverage, so when one starts to get tired of listening to one's own thoughts, one can call up a friend... and cause them to become tired of listening to one's thoughts.
So, why the Willie Nelson impressions (minus the long hair, beard, and pot)? Simply put, after a long illness, my marriage died. I won't go into what that illness was, but will accept blame for both the genesis of the illness and the inability of the family to properly recover from it. I am here for a healing of sorts... To hope that while my family is irrevocably broken, we can find a way to make the best of a situation which nobody can be happy with.
So here I am... A newly-minted Coloradan. I have another trip to make back east to get a few things before settling in to my new apartment. It's strange to go back to the house which used to be home, to see a woman who used to be your wife, and know that you're there as a visitor or an interloper. It's the most intensely sad thing that I've experienced so far in my life, made more so by the fact that it's primarily of my own doing. Unfortunately, it's become clear that while I may do some things very well, being a husband is not among those things. Now that I'm 0 for 2 in that category, I'll have to work on being a better man out here in Colorado. Meanwhile I hope that I and others can heal, and maybe some day friendships can evolve from what is now bitterness and pain.
In the meantime, if any of my friends happen to be traveling through Colorado Springs, feel free to stop by and maybe pull up a chunk of futon. I'd love the company.
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